life as a mom is busy...

dearest loves,

a life as a mom is so busy. it's full of washing clothes, doing dishes, tending a house, going to work, folding clothes, packing bags, making meals, cleaning up toys, giving medicine and baths, and folding diapers. it is also full of kissing boo-boos, wiping tears away, giving time-outs, kissing foreheads, dancing silly, laughing till i cry, being a tickle monster, playing at the park, snuggling, sharing snacks, jumping, running, chasing, and singing. it's a big job. it's a difficult job. it's the best job. it's a job i wanted and longed for, for so long. a job that felt so far away; a job that felt as if i was just too ill-equipped to hold. then just like that, within just a couple years, God blessed me and entrusted me with two beautiful souls who have become so much a part of me that i can't remember what life was like without them. those two little ones are you, buel and amiette. and i will feel this way if God blesses us with anymore little feet and hands to add to our mix. God has been so good to us and deserves all honor, praise, and glory. i should know better that God knew the perfect hour and minute to bring each of you into the world. i am so thankful.

buel: my little bundle of energy. you are so incredible. each day you say more words. you do more things. you grow just a little more. you are an amazing big brother and i'm so glad that you love your sister. it took a little bit to adjust, but you've really embraced the job and you are really good at it. thank you for loving and caring for your sister the best way you know how, at the age of 2! your hair was trimmed recently but its still shaggy and curly. you simply have the best hair around! your smile is contagious and you have different laughs for different things. you have a silly laugh for when you're being silly, you have a belly laugh for when something is really funny or you're being tickled, and you have a machine gun laugh for when you're punchy and tired. you run around, jump, dance, sing, and play with your friends brayden and lahna. you love to play with your cousins carter and evan and they love to play with you, even though they are much older. your favorite show is still paw patrol. however, you love to watch daniel tiger, little einsteins, and dinosaur train as well. you frequently wake up in the morning and start singing... "gonna riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide the dinosaur train!" it's so cute. you eat a lot. you drink a lot of water. you play a lot. you laugh a lot. you smile a lot. and you sleep like a champ! all-in-all, you're amazing. i love you!

amiette river: i'm terrible and have not wrote out your birth story or even announced your arrival here on my blog. bad mommy. but i have even less time to sit and write out my letters that are always on my heart, because i'm busy corralling your brother, nursing, holding, snuggling, and loving you. you are amazing. you were born on december 10, 2015 at 9:41am. you weighed 7lbs 8.2 oz and were 20.5 inches long. when they laid you on my chest, the first words i spoke to you were i love you and then immediately i sang to you, "Jesus loves me." i hope you always know that Jesus loves you! we spent a few days in the hospital together, mostly just you and me as daddy and your grandma - "tu-tu" mo took care of your brother at home. when you came home, life never slowed down. we got to know each other very well and very quickly. you slept on my chest the first few weeks of your life because that's all you wanted. honestly, it's all i wanted too. your first holiday was christmas and then new years. everyone in the family instantly fell in love with you, almost as fast as mommy and daddy did!

you and i took a sad, yet beneficial and much needed trip to california when you were 6 weeks old to bring some love, light, and joy to tu-tu's heart and the rest of our extended families. your sweet great aunt kelly passed away before she got the chance to meet you. but she loved you so much, even from a great distance. she was proud of you and loved you! after our time in california we came home and basically hit the ground running. mommy had to jump back into work and so that means going, going, going, and going. you are such a trooper. you and your brother. you get worn a lot on my chest with our ring sling. THANK GOD FOR BABYWEARING! i don't know how i'd function without being able to wear you. oh amiette, there is just so much i'd love to write and say... but it will have to wait. you're currently down with your first fever and cold. i keep hearing you cough and it breaks my heart. Lord please protect my babes from the sinus and lung problems i've had my entire life.

today you turned 3 months old. your eyes have not picked a color yet, your hair is dark brown, you are a peanut wearing 3 month clothes but can still fit into some 0-3 months. you smile and talk a lot. we don't get a lot of floor time because i'm afraid of your brother stepping on you, but you have really good head control and strength. you sleep through the night, all on your own doing! THANK YOU and thank you, Jesus! you take meds for reflux. you wake up smiling. you sleep loudly and wake-up just as loudly. you nurse every 2-3 hours during waking hours. you're just an incredible little person who i love most ardently. thank you for coming into our lives. you are such a blessing.

so buel and amiette, thank you. thank you for being you. thank you for joining us and helping to make this ride of life more interesting and sweet. the next upcoming months are going to be interesting as we have a big move, big changes of scenery and living quarters, and hopefully more family time. i hope to write more sooner rather than later. but until then, always know that i hold you in my heart. always.

love you,
mommy.

5 months on the dot.

hello my sweet loves. 

I had hoped it would not take me so long to write again but life decided to get very busy very quickly. Last I said was that you, Buel, were going to be a big brother. Well that is still true and it could become a reality to you any day now. Our family is about to grow by one little girl! Her name will be Amiette River. We know you'll be so great at loving her. It will take some getting used too, but we will always love you the same amount that we have each day of your life. And that means more and more each day! You are our miracle baby who opened our eyes to the beauty of family and parenthood. So get ready, our house is about to get even more full of love. Love for you and your sister. Mommy can scarcely believe that it will be possible for her heart to grow with love anymore than it has right now. But it's an exciting venture!

Buddy Buel, you turn 2 in a matter of 4 days! Oh my goodness. You're such a big boy. You've got a new car seat that is for big kids! You're tall and fit in 2t/3t clothes, yet you're still skinny around the waist. I hope you can keep that trend and not struggle with weight issues like mommy and daddy. You have the most gorgeous curls in your hair that make you look so dapper and handsome. Everyone who sees you, comments on how precious your hair is and agrees I shouldn't cut it just yet. I'm not ready too... Last time we did I had quite a meltdown! Silly me. 

You laugh and play, you say lots of words and we are slowly working on potty training. You go to the potty every night before bed! You sleep through the night and take one nap a day. You love to run and play with your cousins and your friend Brayden every day. You also love your downtime. We watch a few shows but your favorite is Paw Patrol! You call it "ca-trol" and love that they are dogs who drive trucks to help people. On top of that, you love Chewbacca and Star Wars! We dressed you up as Chewie for Halloween and you were the best chewie ever. You also went for your first real night of trick or treating with Carter and Evan. It was so much fun and you did such a great job at saying thank you, trick or treat, and giving your best chewie impression! We were so impressed. Your cousin Evan was very sweet in helping to make sure you got all the candy you could get and that you weren't left out. Those two boys love you so much! You really are lived so much and it's such a blessing to me. To know that while we may lack in being able to provide you with all the things we know you'd love to have and such, you will never ever lack in the department of love. And that is perfect. And soon we get to see you grow into a bigger boy who not only is loved and but shows his love. You're becoming empathetic and learning when you've made someone sad (sometimes). We love who you are and can't wait to see how you grow!

Amiette River... My little girl. We are so excited to meet you. Currently all we know about you is that your base heartrate most of the time is in the high 130s, you have nice chubby cheeks, and apparently hair! You supposedly weigh around 6lbs 8oz and you're growing at a perfect pace. We cannot believe that we get to meet you so soon. Oh sweet love. You have an amazing team that is ready to welcome you earth side and I cannot wait for you to meet them. I envision you Abe brown hair and blue eyes. That you have curls and will have long eye lashes. We will see what happens! Daddy, Buel and I hope that your birth is soon and is uneventful in a good way. We are so in love with you already and are eager to meet you. 

I wonder what mischief you and your brother will get into... Oh boy. It's going to be fabulous! And exhausting for me and daddy. But that's okay with us!

Until next time... We love you so much. I hope to update this again on buel's birthday. 

Love you,

Mommy. 

5 months and so much has changed...

hello sweetie(s),

yes.  i wrote sweeties, as in the plural form of sweetie. i'll get to that in a second.

wow - it has been 5 months since i last wrote. i have thought about doing so several times, however, you have kept me exceedingly busy. so much has happened, i don't even know where to start. you are nearly 19 months now and you're huge! you're 33.25 inches tall, you're 25.6 pounds, you wear a size 4/4.5 shoe, and are in 2t clothes. you are such a big boy, my sweet loving buel. you make me so proud. you're saying lots of words these days, you love to run into my arms and give me the most delicious hugs and kisses. you love to play with and tickle daddy's tummy. you love monster truck and puttis. you dance to all music and you love to play and rough house with your cousins, carter and evan.oh and you also love to see your uncle d when he comes home from work and says "buuuuuuuuuel!" you call him d and you always run to see him and play with him. you're good buds.  oh, and you're still into everything!

honestly, i don't know how i make it through the day with you or myself in one piece. you are exploring everything and climbing onto all the things. its funny and frustrating all at the same time. you like to make it difficult for me to keep you safe and out of things you're not supposed to be into. but, in reality, this is your job and it is my job to teach and to protect. so far i'm doing the best that i can. that being said, you did receive your first significant wound a few months back. while driving home from evan's preschool, you decided that putting your foot in his face would be funny. well, evan did not find it so funny and pushed your leg to move it. unfortunately, he pushed it so hard that your poor little leg broke! yes. broke. you had your first broken bone. so we went to the doctors and you got a few x-rays and they decided to put you in a large cast, all the way past your knee! you had to wear that cast for 6 weeks! it didn't really slow you down, as you didn't seem to mind it very much. but it was sure a difficult 6 weeks for your mommy.

i am pleased to say that i had a moment of tears when i realized something was very wrong with your leg (before we saw the doctor). after literally 30 seconds of tears, i pulled it together and was strong and dealt with it all the best i could and as fast as i could. i am so glad that God gave me the stamina and the assertiveness to get you checked by specialists and by people who would truly help you. my sweet boy. it was so sad to see you dragging and hobbling around in a bright orange thigh high cast, but you rocked it and we managed. God was gracious and kept my spirits up, even though some times i was completely exhausted from carrying you everywhere and the emotional side of it was tough too. God has also been incredibly gracious in giving you the most wonderful spirit. you are so bright and easy going. you go with the flow and for the most part, don't give us too much of a fight.

however, there are definitely moments where you give us a run for our money! you are a one tracked little boy. you go and you go and you go and you go. you play hard and you hate to be stopped from playing or going where you want to go. when we say playtime is over, you definitely let us know that you're not excited about that. thankfully, it does not take too much to get you distracted and into something else after some coaxing. if we could, you would walk and run around outside all day, everyday. and for the most part, we do. we are usually outside for a few hours in the morning and then the rest of the day after naps. sometimes we even go out after we get home from work.

the weekends are your time to catch up on lost time with your daddy. he loves to take you out on walks in your push car and to take you to the park. its always a good time. you always come in hot and ready for some water and something to eat. i'm glad you and your daddy play so well and have so much fun. i'm blessed that i get to play with you every day all day at work. but soon life will be changing for all of us and we will have to get used to a new normal.

remember how i wrote "hello sweetie(s)" at the beginning of this letter? well, you see, you're going to be a big brother, buel. we are not sure if you will have a brother or a sister, but you are going to have a sibling in the next 5-6 months! mommy has a baby in her tummy and we are so thrilled to embark on a new life as a family of 4. it was quite a shock to me and i am still getting used to the idea that we will soon have 2 little youngin's running around. but i am excited.

you will soon be able to feel the baby moving around by just touching mommy's tummy! you'll also be able to see the baby moving around in my tummy too. it's quite a bizarre thing but i hope you enjoy it. you're still a bit young so you may not totally understand, but you will and i know you're going to be a great big brother. we don't want you to think that just because there is a new baby coming, that we don't love you as much or that we will forget about you. on the contrary. our love has grown for you and multiplying into love for your new friend and sibling that will be joining our family soon. and you get to be a big help to mommy and daddy in teaching this new one how things work around here! you're going to be awesome.

once we know if its a boy or girl, we will definitely let you know. until then, thank you for being so lovely. and thank you Lord, for giving us the most amazing little boy and thank you again for surprising us with another child to care for. we are completely unworthy but eternally grateful.

until my next letter,  sweet ones. (i do hope that it won't be another 5 months!) - always know that you are precious and i hold you in my heart. you are dear to me and daddy. we love you. i love you.

love,
mommy

so much has happened!

hello sweetie,

wow! so much has happened since i last wrote. i don't even know where to begin. i guess i mentioned that we were heading to california to visit with family. well, we did just that. you had your very first airplane ride and that could not have gone any better. you made friends with people on the plane, you slept, you only cried a few times, and a few people even commended us on how well-behaved you were. so hooray Jesus for giving us grace and comfort on the plane and hooray you for doing such a great job! while in california you got to meet so many amazing people. you got to hug, play, and share life with people who love and cherish you. a few highlights: you finally got the chance to meet your grandpa walker and your namesake -  grandpa buel newman II.

grandpa walker & buel.

the surviving buels - II, III, IV, V.

they truly enjoyed getting to meet you and seeing your sweet face. you also got to meet your grandpa (namesake once again) and your uncle steven for the first time as well! you and your grandpa became very close friends. you grabbed him by the fingers and walked all over the house! you even tugged and pulled on his beard. OUCH!

buels III and V.

uncle steven loves his babby nephew.

our trip was crammed full of visits where you got the opportunity to meet so many people. so many in fact that it would take forever to post pictures of each and such. so just know that you met very important and lovely people and they were all so happy to see you. we had a small little get together for your birthday and you smashed your cupcake and thoroughly enjoyed the delectable yellow cake and chocolate icing! daddy and mommy, and your entire family for that matter, could not have enjoyed that moment more. we are so proud of you.

oh! you also got to visit the ocean for the very first time. you were not quite sure how to feel about the waves. however, you were definitely all about the sand!

when we got back from california,we celebrated your first birthday!!!! oh my goodness. on the 11th of November you turned ONE! it was such a bittersweet moment for me. you are and will forever be my little baby, but something about remembering the day you were born and reminiscing over the past year got to me. i was a ball of tears for most of the day. i am the most blessed mommy to ever grace God's green earth. you are a light in this dark world and i pray and hope that your life continues to bless others. it is my prayer that one day you will use your light to glorify God and bring honor to His name.

we had a birthday party for you here in maryland. you were not so interested in cake this time. but really, that's okay. i think you were just full. you had been munching on food and were tired by the time cake was ready. but you still smashed it, you just didn't eat it.

somewhere in there we celebrated both thanksgiving and christmas, we celebrated my birthday, and somewhere in there - we celebrated the fact that you have 8 teeth, you like to say "leego leego" a lot, and you walk! yes! you walk! i am sorry that i did not write down the exact day that you took your first step. it is so difficult to keep every first in order! however, you started to officially walk a few days after christmas. oh, speaking of christmas - we had such a sad one. your uncle matt came to visit! thankfully you got to meet him and spend some time with him.

uncle matt reading stories.

unfortunately, we all got super sick and didn't get to spend more time with him. and we missed out on the christmas festivities with the family. hopefully, we will have a better experience next year. we will see i suppose. i think daddy wants to visit california for christmas next year. we will see. we have lots of things that we are trying to plan and do... but that's another story for another time.

let's see, what else... you are 23 pounds, 31 inches tall and amazing. you are into EVERYTHING. let me repeat myself... you. are. into. everything! and while i love that you are walking everywhere, that you love to climb and be your excited and happy-self, it gets pretty tiresome repeating myself and removing you from situations all day and every day. but thankfully, these are all normal and great things for you to be doing because you are growing and developing and doing amazing. you have an inquisitive mind, you love to know whats going on and you are always ready to check things out. so that really is all i can ask for.

we are so incredibly proud of you. whenever given the chance to show you off and to talk about you, we take it. you are our beautiful little boy who we love and cherish more than we do this life. God knew exactly what we needed and when and He gave us you. thank you for being a huge blessing and part of our lives. it is near impossible for us to even remember life without you! we love you. i love you.

love,
mommy.

oh i'm slacking... or maybe you keep me too busy!

hello sweetie.

oh i am sorry for never writing your proper 9 month update blog. i have a great excuse... you never stop moving! yes, so because of the fact that you never stop moving, i don't have the mental capacity to write out all the amazing things you've done and have been doing. but today, daddy is at a meeting and i have finally pushed myself to write this out. so here i am. hi!

i love you!

you are 11 months old! holy cow. you're nearly a year old. just a few weeks and we will be celebrating your birth, reminiscing on the joys that God gave us by giving us you. i will not even try to cover up how much my heart is breaking that you are not so little anymore. this year went way too fast. i honestly can't keep up with everything and yet, you keep growing and i keep learning. i keep growing and you keep learning. your daddy does the same. what a miraculous life it is that we've been given. what a brilliant God we serve. 

at 11 months you do the following:

- crawl! CRAWL! CRAWL! yes, you crawl all over creation. i cannot get you to sit still unless giving you a bite of something or enticing you with an extra cool toy. notice that i stress the words 'extra cool'. an ordinary toy will not get you to sit still long enough.

- you say daddy, baba, dada, lala, and ma. can you do me a solid and start calling me mama! it would do my heart so well.

- you pull yourself to standing and couch surf all over. you do not need help standing; however, you think that you do. you're growing in your confidence. once you amp that up a bit, you will be walking and running! then i'll really be in trouble.

- you eat EVERYTHING! pancakes, chicken, meatloaf, eggs, cheese, yogurt, spaghetti, lasagna, broccoli, spinach, beans, avocado, rice, etc. oddly enough, the only thing you do not like is sweet potatoes! i am pretty surprised because most kids love them. oh well, maybe one day you will. 

- you have 5 teeth (the 5th one will be through any day so i'm counting it). your smile is ridiculously precious and it makes my heart smile with such delight.

- you sleep through the night. THANK YOU!

- you dance and prefer certain songs.

- you sing in the car.

- you sleep with the blanket that was your mommy's when she was little and with the gorilla your tu-tu/grandma mo sent you. 

- you walk when holding onto my fingers

- you play games with daddy.

- you love your cousins!

as you can see... you're growing and developing amazingly. i cannot wait to see what you learn next! 

now for the not so great things... when you were 10 months, we had a few yucky times. first you got a crazy diaper rash that lasted for over a week. you were miserable and myself and daddy were so sad! thankfully, we got it under control. PHEW! then a few days after that, you got your first fever and cold, which turned into a sinus infection. i apologize for cursing you with sinus infections. hopefully, that will be the last one for a while and it does not turn into a persistent thing. you had to take antibiotics to finally take control of the yuck that was in your face. then you were back to your old self. hooray! 

or so i thought. 

this past week, a few days shy of your 11 month birthday, you decided you wanted to have a nursing strike. yes, for nearly 4 days, you did not want to nurse from me. you would drink mama-milk from a cup or a bottle. you would eat regular food. but you would scream and cry if i tried to put you to the breast. this was absolutely devastating to me. i cried. i became a very ugly person and was definitely feeling some pretty terrible feelings. i am sorry for being so heinous. it was a dark time in my life and i learned a lot from it... and i still don't know why you chose to stop nursing. but just as fast as you stopped nursing, you started back up again. and i cried tears of joy. nursing you is such a special bond that we share. it's ours and i relish all the time i get to snuggle you close, feel your breath on me, and just soak you in. it is such a nice break in the day when i get to nurse you. i love it. i love you! so thank you for going back to the breast. i'm so glad our nursing relationship isn't over yet. i really wasn't quite ready and i didn't know if you were or not. thankfully, you're not done either.

that leads up to today. you're 11 months and 3 days old. we are gearing up to go on our trip to california in a few weeks. we will celebrate your birthday there with the family you get to meet out there. then we will celebrate your birthday just with mommy and daddy. then we will celebrate your birthday with all your friends and family after thanksgiving! its going to be a full and awesome month. we love you so much and are so excited to watch you grow. 

i guess that's all i've got for now. this letter has already gotten way too long. i love you more than life itself. you're the best gift that God ever gave to me; after the gift of salvation and after the gift of your daddy. but you'll learn why i say that when you're older. until next time - when you've turned one! i love you.

love,

mommy.

messes galore!

hello sweetie.

this will be a brief note today, as in 8 days you will turn 9 months old and i'll write a proper updated letter to you. but today i was taken back by something that i thought was important for me to share! as of your 6 month "birthday", you have been eating solid foods. you're doing great. we're off of purees and onto soft bites of whatever it is i'm eating or of something that i've made for you. you love your veggies. that to me is a blessing and i am so glad! this week you tried spaghetti, cauliflower, noodles, and carrots. you liked it all. you really are a great eater! now, along with great eating comes great messes! in all fairness, you are quite a delicate eater and you do not smash your food all over the place. at least not yet. i'm sure one day you probably will, but as for now, you love to eat and if the food does not enter your mouth fast enough, you let us know! but again, while you're a neat eater; messes are still made. you miss your mouth here, you squeeze too hard on a soft carrot there, you drop a piece of broccoli out of your mouth, and that's the mess i'm referring too.

i love watching you eat. i love to see you enjoy your food, knowing that you will be satisfied and receive all sorts of good vitamins and nutrition to help you grow. i even love it when the mess is made. this evening after i had put you to bed, i went to clean up a bit in the kitchen and was cleaning your chair. there was bits of puff, carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli stuck to the seat and on the tray. my very first instinct was not to get upset at the mess, was not to get exasperated with more work to do, and it surely wasn't to become annoyed that there was wasted food. no, my first instinct was one of joy. joy that you were enjoying your food. joy that i have a little boy who sits nicely, eats, and makes messes. joy that i have a son and that i am a mother. joy that my role as a woman and wife

is not just to clean up my home for myself and husband, but after the fruit of our love. for our little boy. it is a joy to clean up after you. i know there will be days where i do get annoyed and/or exasperated. i pray that on those days, God will give me special grace to be grateful for my blessings. i never want to lose sight of the fact that we wanted you and prayed so diligently and hard for you to enter our lives. with those memories and that insight, messes around the house seem so silly to get too upset over. i am so thankful to have you in my life, little bubs. you're my most favoritest little guy in this entire world. we love you and are so proud of you!

love,
mommy.

8 months of love.

hello sweetie,

you are officially 8 months old. we have so much fun together and i cannot believe how fast this time is going. can you please slow down? you do all sorts of fun things and eat a lot of foods. you are growing into such a neat little person and your personality is truly starting to come out.

at 8 months you:
eat solid foods - your favorites are broccoli, refried beans, rice, mum-mums, applesauce, and spinach.
drink water from your straw cup.
have 2 teeth and more on the way. (this is exciting and also a little bit sad for your mommy. your smile is forever changed, no more gummy/toothless grins from you. from this day on, you'll have teeth in your mouth and in all your pictures.)
dance when music comes on.
army "crawl", get up on your knees to try and crawl, crawl backwards, and sit-up without assistance.
said 'MA" twice! come on lovebug... say MAMA!!!!!
hang out in your jumper.
play drums on your high chair.
sleep through the night.
sleep in your pack n'play during nap times.
truly enjoy your time with your family and friends.
talk a lot.
smile from ear to ear.
belly laugh more frequently.
bring so much joy to everyone you meet.

my love, you are a remarkable young man and we are so grateful to have you be in our lives. God put you right where you belonged, we couldn't have asked for a more amazing little boy. i can't wait to see what other fun shenanigans we get into over the next several months. i cannot believe that you're going to be a year old in just a little over 3 months... this is absolutely crazy! but so fun. your daddy and i love you so much. keep growing, keep learning, and keep smiling. i love you so very much.

love,
mommy.

we could never have prepared for this...

hello my love,

you just turned 7 months old. wow! oh my love, i thank God for you each day. your daddy and i love you and you make us so proud. you wake up each morning with a smile. you sit up all on your own, roll over from back to tummy (sometimes this is a problem because when you roll over in your crib, you get stuck on your belly and get frustrated) and sometimes tummy to back. you spend 90% of your day smiling. you squeal and scream with joy. you play with your favorite dog, monster truck. you try to pet the cat and she has warmed up to you. you also get the biggest smile on your face after a long day at work and daddy walks in the house. you truly do light up when you see him. it blesses my soul to see how much you delight in your father. you two have so much mutual love for one another. it's absolutely precious.

on your 6 month "birthday", we gave you your first solid food! avocado! you really enjoyed it. okay, well... you weren't quite sure at first. you spit it out and i think we got more all over your face and chest rather than in your mouth and tummy. but the next day, i smashed up some avocado and you chowed down! we tried green beans a week later and you scarfed that down! so far, i think green beans are your favorite. you also like spinach. however, you really don't like it reheated from the freezer. daddy says he doesn't blame you. hehe! funnily enough, you do not like sweet potato or banana. i thought for sure you'd like those two foods because they are on the sweeter side. nope. i think it's great that you love the green foods! you also have had cantaloupe and watermelon, which you liked as well. you just really enjoy eating! and i am so glad to give you healthy and good foods that will help you grow big and strong.

speaking of growing: at 6 months old you weighed 17.7 pounds and were 28 inches tall. you are definitely bigger now! you were the average weight of a 6 month old child and in the 95th percentile for height. you're my lean and tall young man. simply perfect!

you have had your first trip to pennsylvania to visit a group of your daddy's friends. you also had your first sleep away from home at auntie neva's house. both of those trips were interesting. in pennsylvania, you decided that you were going to stay awake until 10:30 at night! thankfully, you slept through the night once we got home and stayed on your schedule the following day. when we stayed at auntie neeves, you went to bed kinda late, but you definitely did great then too. what an exciting time! you're getting to do so many things! hooray!

you have a tooth! as of this week - you popped your first tooth. please, do me a solid and stop biting me. thankfully, you don't bite me often. but every now and then, you like to test out your new tooth while nursing on mommy's breast. can we just say... OWWWWW! but hooray! you have a tooth. it also looks like the tooth next to it will pop through soon too. once it comes up a little more, i'll be able to get a better picture of it. i must say... it is difficult to picture you're amazing smile full of teeth. and i am reminded that you are growing up into a big boy and its bittersweet. i love you so much at this age and at every age you've been so far. please, just don't grow up too fast.

mother's day and father's day have past and having you there in our arms on those days made the days so very special. granted, daddy is not a huge fan of holidays, it was still special. in the past years, mother's day and father's day were hard because we were missing a person in our life, one that we never got to meet. you. and now, you're here and we are so excited that we have you. our lives feel so much more complete with you in it. thank you for being our little boy. thank you God for giving us such an incredible son!

i apologize for taking such a long time to write. i've just been spending most of my time with you and when i'm not, i am pretty exhausted and ready to just crash. but its a good exhaustion. you're the absolute best reason to be tired. thank you for being here and making me tired.

for now i must go. but i love you and daddy does too. we are so very happy to know you and to have you be a huge part of our lives. i love you.

love,
mommy.

5 months already...

hello sweetie,

oh buel. i cannot believe that you are already 5 months old! God has truly blessed us with you. you are such a unique, sweet, and handsome person that we get to call "son." we cannot thank Him enough for all that He has given us. lately, you're working on grabbing your feet, trying to roll over, talking, occasionally laughing, lots of smiling, and you love to stand while i hold you. you also love to chew on your hands. you are in the early stages of teething, so you chew to relieve the pain and weird feeling that is associated with getting teeth. you're going to look so different with teeth, but i'm sure you're going to look just as cute as always! you also enjoy some tummy time too! whenever you're put on your tummy, it looks as if you're trying to crawl! slow down, mommy is not ready for all that! but it sure will be fun when you're crawling around. oh and you and i are also working on trying to get you to sit up on your own! you tend to puke every time you lean forward too much. thankfully, it doesn't seem to bother you. you also LOVE to chew on things. my fingers, your fingers, your squishy book, and your ring chain. which leads me to something else...

there is another thing that you're doing a lot of and that is: DROOLING! oh the amount of drool that comes out of that little mouth of yours is impressive. its as if you were showing the whole world that you're the master of drooling. pop-pop calls it your sugar that you're just giving away! hehe! your pop-pop and gramma love you so much! your cousin evan loves it when we play the "drooling" game. i pick you up and chase evan around while yelling "droooooooooly! drooooooooly!" and then we gob some drool all over him. it's his most favorite game.

you're also becoming really good friends with your cousins, auntie sarah, and especially uncle dan. sometimes, mommy calls him your uncle d. every day we go to their house to hang out with your cousins while auntie sarah and uncle d go to work. we play hard all day and then you play even harder when uncle d is around. you and he are good friends, which does my heart good. i love to see the joy you and my family have when you're together. i truly wish you could spend time with your california family, daddy's side of the family. they love you and wish they could see you too. especially your grandma mo! one day we may live closer to them. we'll see i guess, we are here in maryland for a while. but we're trying to work out a trip to visit. someday. soon, hopefully.

oh, my boy. i love you so much. i want you to know this each and every day. your mommy and daddy think of you all the time, miss you when we're not with you, get excited when you do new things, get sad when you're hurting or sad, and smile when you smile. i love to cuddle and snuggle with you. this week i finally started sleeping in my own room so that you could have your own room too. i miss you, i miss hearing your little noises throughout the night, and i miss waking up and looking over to see you. but it's best that you're in your own room. you get your sleep and i get mine. its been good. but i do miss you, so seeing you in the morning is such a delight! you are the delight of my heart.

i guess i'll go for now. next month you will be 6 months old! a half-year old! oh Lord, please let time slow down. it is going too fast for this squishy heart of mine. :) but its such a lovely time to be with you. thank you for being you, buel. you're so beautiful. mommy and daddy love you! it's so very true. i love you.

love,
mommy.

1 year ago...

hi sweetie,

on this day one year ago, i found out that you were growing in my tummy. it was the most surreal day and i remember almost every bit of it as if it were yesterday. it was an off chance that i decided to take a test to see if i could possibly be pregnant. then all of a sudden, the test said yes! and then after a quick call to your mama joni, the second test said yes... then after lots of tears and shaking, i called daddy and told him the amazing news. "we did it!" he said. i also called and told your auntie neva! (she is currently pregnant with your soon to be friend!) oh how exciting... i was still in disbelief. i dragged your cousins to the doctors office with me to get another test done, a more definitive one. i had to wait a day for the response to that test, but lo and behold, all tests confirmed that you were there.

oh God is so good to have entrusted your daddy and me to be your parents. we are so blessed to have you in our lives and we have grown so much more in love with you than we ever thought possible. in the past 12 months you grew from a little tadpole (remember i told you, i used to call you our little tadpole), to a scorpion (daddy liked to call you scorpion!), to an amazing rolling and kicking machine inside my belly with a heart rate averaging in the 150s, to a gorgeous little boy who means more to me than i could have ever imagined. you made a grand entrance on november 18 at 10:56am. everyone you come into contact with, everyone you meet, everyone that sees you falls in love with you instantly. buel, you are one special little boy. you are so handsome with a contagious smile, sweet scent, strong and alert, and just simply amazing.

you can roll from your tummy to your back, you hold your head up and are trying to learn to sit up on your own. your favorite thing to do is to stand while someone is holding you. you also love to hang out with your cousins carter and evan as well as your friends benjamin and jonerz. you have gorgeous hazel eyes, light colored hair, you're tall and have a lovely amount of chub! you wear 6 month clothes, mostly because you're so tall and anything else is too short. you like to nap in your dog chair, you sleep through the night, you're working on getting some teeth on the bottom (you drool like a faucet and chomp on your hands!), and you love to cuddle in bed with mommy. you fit into your hat that matches daddy's! you also fit into the first onesie that we bought you, your gold star trek shirt! you giggle when something really tickles your fancy. you like to pet monster truck. you like to sit with your daddy while he plays on the computer and when he comes home from work, your face beams with so much joy and love. you try to stay awake at bedtime but always fall asleep and wake-up smiling in the morning. there have been a few nights where things were wonky and mommy had a few freak outs (mostly out of sheer exhaustion because neither you or i were sleeping!), but we're getting through it. it wouldn't be life if everything was perfect.

anyway, my sweet boy, i love you. you are so loved by so many people it is insane. i am beyond blessed to be a mommy, to be your mommy. thank you, Lord for giving us our son.

love,
mommy.

your laughter.

hello sweetie,

today you laughed for the first time. it was the most precious laugh that i've ever heard in my life. you did it a few times in a row and then i couldn't get you to do it again. i am guessing when something is seriously funny to you, you will laugh. real laughter from a heart that is happy and a soul that is delighted. i'm so excited to see who you will become. you turn 4 months in just a few days... you're growing up so fast and i am definitely conflicted on how i feel about the whole thing. i'm so excited because growing means more life and more fun. but i so cherish this sweet time of cuddles and cooing. i love you so much, son. my son. i love you more and more each day. even the days when my patience runs thin. i love you. thank you for being born. thank you Jesus for bringing buel into my life.

love you,
mommy.

talking with smiles.

hello sweetie,

you are now 2.5 months old! i know i told you that i would write to you about why we baptized you; however, i feel like it'd be better to explain that to you in person. but in short - your baptism is a sign that you are a part of the visible church. but that is a lot to explain. so just know that we did it because it is what God asked us to do. we love you.

so lately, one of my most favorite times of day is when i get you out of your crib. yes, you sleep in your big boy crib now. i still sleep in the same room as you, but wow - you sleep in a crib and not just a bassinet. these milestones are so bittersweet for your mommy. i am so excited that you're growing and thriving and doing well. on the other hand, i am relishing this time with you that you are little and i don't want it to fade just yet. but keep growing. mommy's heart will be okay. i'm so looking forward to all the fun things we'll get to do as you continue to grow. anyway, when i get you out of bed in the morning, you give me some of the. biggest. smiles! it is as if you are so excited to see me after you've been sleeping for so long. it is such a special time for us - we sing, talk, and cuddle every morning and its just the most fun part of my day. i love your smile. i love you so much.

my other most favorite time of the day is bedtime. and i know that sounds like i am just excited for the break that nighttime brings me but that is not it at all. each night after you've nursed at my breast, you and i rock in our rocking chair and i sing you songs until you're just about sleeping. you snuggle into my neck and i sing and rock and rub your back. then i pray. i pray for you, our families, our friends, i pray for your salvation, i pray for God's hand to be over you and allow you to live an exceptional and beautiful life that brings glory to His name. i pray that God will bless our family and that daddy and i will be good parents and help you to grow up properly. then i sing one or two more songs and then you fade off to sleep after a few minutes. its such a wonderful time.

daddy and i love you so much that we will do anything to take care of you. we want to do what is right for you and we want you to have an exceptional life. so we will do what we can and i hope that you will understand that our reasoning behind some of our decisions is with your best interest in mind. just a heads up NOW. i'm sure i'll be telling you this WAY before you get a chance to read this. oh my sweet baby boy... you are so precious to me and your daddy. we cannot tell you enough how much we love you. we will tell you each and every day.

now you are ready for sleep so i will go. but i love you my darling. till the next time i write...

love,
mommy.

a new and exciting year is upon us.

hello sweetie.

everything in life that used to get me excited and giddy are so less exciting to me these days. christmas did not feel the same this year - but perhaps next year it will. new years is never exciting in our household. and my birthday was a bust (mostly because daddy and i were both sick!). i'm not bummed about the change in my heart over these things because i know why they felt so different. and i know that next year they will feel different and each year it will change again. it's all because of you. you remarkable young lad! why, you ask? well - it's because the most exciting thing that daddy and i were waiting for has arrived. you! you were our precious christmas gift, you were our anticipation and you were what we were wishing and hoping for. and you're here. so the excitement of gifts and fun times with friends and family is amazing and we loved every minute of it - but, to me at least, it all does not hold a candle to the joy and excitement that is you being in our lives. you are the gift that keeps on giving because each day is new.

i won't lie. some days feel completely mundane because we're doing the same thing over and over. wake, nurse, diaper change, sleep, coo, sleep, nurse, change diaper, sleep. and so on and so forth. but each day i am able to learn a little more about you and you are learning things each day too. for example - on december 15th - you found your hand and were staring at it a lot. and on december 28th - you gave me your first smile! like a real smile, not just a gas bubble. [side note: when you get married and have a baby, the first smiles are most likely gas... you'll know the difference between gassy smiles and real smiles. and those real smiles make the sleepless nights and the moments of frantic crazies all worth it. i promise.] so each day, you are learning and growing and showing us new things. on my birthday you started sticking your tongue out a lot and making spit bubbles. ;-P yes, i know - you probably think i'm a nut job to think these things are more exciting than christmas or my birthday. maybe i am. but they are. they are exciting because i get to see a little more of your unique personality. i get to know you better each day and that is so exciting.

you are so loved. so many people comment about how you are just so precious. granted, i'm flaunting you around like a prize. but not really. i post pictures because i am so proud. i post pictures because you are who i spend my days with. i post pictures because you have family 3000 miles away who want to see your face. so i don't feel bad about all the pictures and how most of my facebook has turned into a baby yearbook of sorts. daddy and i are so proud that you're in our life and we are going to shout it from the rooftops. because God saw fit to give us a little boy who is beyond precious, who is beyond cute, and who has stolen our hearts.

on december 6, you got to meet your grandma mo! she was so excited to meet you that she flew all the way from california to be here and see you. she was here for a few days. while she was here you got baptized. we'll talk about that on the next letter. she spoiled you rotten with hugs and kisses and holding you! she loves you SO much and you love her. you spent lots of time just laying on her chest while she sang to you, rocked you, and loved on you. it was a very special time and i'm so glad that you and her got that time together. we hope to go visit in june and unless she comes to visit before then, you'll see her again then. and this time you may be able to remember her! hopefully once you start watching things a bit more, we'll do some skype sessions so you get to know her and grandpa burt's faces and voices. then you'll know who is hugging and kissing you when we visit! but oh, grandma mo loves you so much. you're her little peanut.

before this gets too long, i thought i'd tell you that some of my favorite times with you are when we're sitting in your bedroom on the spare mattress. we just hang out after you've been fed and changed. right now, you're not even 2 months old so you still sleep quite a bit. but when you're awake, i love to sit and listen to music with you. these are the four songs we listen too on a regular basis... one of them is a "love song", and isn't meant to be sung by a mommy to her son, but to me - i think of you when i sing along.

"baby mine" - alison krauss. this was the song that i sang to you while you were in my tummy and will sing to you until you tell me to stop. it holds a very special place in my heart and when i sing it to you i weep with love and joy.

"beautiful boy" by john lennon. i first heard this song when i was much younger while watching a movie called mr. holland's opus. this song was the first song that came to mind then i learned that i was going to have a little boy! you are beautiful and i am excited to watch you grow!

"sweet baby james" by james taylor. your grandma mo used to sing this to your daddy, uncle, and auntie. so i thought i would carry on the tradition since she doesn't get the chance to hold you and sing to you every night. she even sang it to you while she was here!

"make you feel my love" - adele. this is the love song that really isn't for mommy to baby; however, most of the song, minus the middle part, are things i think about with you. so it works just fine for me. :) because i will always do what i can to make you feel my love.

okay - i'm done for now. i love you so much. next time i write, i'll talk to you about your baptism, why we did it, how important it was, and what it means.

love,
mommy.

you were worth the wait...

dear sweetie,

you're here!! it's been a week and 1 day since you surprised us with your arrival, 3 weeks shy of your due date. i am amazed by you. i am amazed by your daddy. i am amazed by the amazing group of friends and support that helped usher you into the world. but, i am amazed mostly by God, His perfect timing, and His perfect workmanship. you are absolutely gorgeous. everyone who has seen you has instantly fallen in love with you and they should - you are a miracle. you came into this world hand first, as if to say "i've arrived, your wait is over." and i am so glad you are here. all the times i've cried, all the times i've doubted that you'd ever arrive, all the times i've envied and coveted a life that did not belong to me, and all the times i wished for you to come into our lives - all those feelings faded away the instant i heard your first cry. you are a precious soul that has entered your mommy and daddy's hearts and we are forever changed.

at this moment, i can barely hold back tears at the sight of your daddy holding you on his chest as he watches something on the computer and you are perfectly content and happy, safe and warm in his arms. sometimes i just watch and fall in love with you over and over again. knowing that you are mine and i am yours; we have a life together and i am excited to experience it with you.

i hope that i do a good job of being your mommy. i hope i do right by you. i hope that i will follow God in the ways of raising you the best of my ability that will bring Him glory and that will lead you to the truth of God and His Gospel.

i have never been so terrified, humbled, excited, and in love as i am right now. the task of parenting is huge and i will not take it lightly. i love you, buel burton newman v. you are truly a miracle and are loved beyond measure. you were worth the wait. i cannot imagine life without you. you are the perfect life to enter into our lives. thank you for becoming part of our family. i love you.


love,
mommy.

perhaps today is the day that i get to meet you face to face...

oh my sweetie...

we went to the doctor on friday to have the procedure done to try and flip you around and guess what!? you had already flipped upside. mommy and daddy are so proud of you and thankful that you were able to get into position. yesterday mommy had her last baby shower (a party where they shower me with gifts for you!) at pastor taylor's house - his lovely wife ms. paula who you will meet and who will give you many many hugs and kisses set it up and it was lovely. you got lots of fun things and everyone is so excited for your arrival. a few hours after the party though, something VERY interesting happened. the bag that you are in inside your mommy's tummy, sprung a leak! which means that in the very near future i will get to meet you! mommy and daddy called our friend and helper bridgette and she told us to breathe and to get rest and drink water. i went ahead and called the midwives to make sure that i do things the way they want me to in order to follow everyone's rules. they had me come in, checked on you and me and they said that you sound lovely! music to my ears. i love hearing that you're doing well, that you sound happy and strong. they checked me and everything sounds good with me too... so we have been given the go ahead to rest, eat, drink lots of fluids, and just wait until my body says it is time to go back to the birth center and work alongside our doula, support team, and midwives to get you here safely and happily. oh what a day!

i may get to see your face today. i may get to hold you. these thoughts get me through the pain that i am feeling as i type this... God has created my body to do this and even moreso, he has created you in His own image. what a beautiful gift life is. i love you, my son. daddy and i are eager to meet you. come soon.

love,

mommy

so soon my love...

hello sweetie,

daddy and i in hawaii... you were there too!

we are in the last weeks of my tummy being your place of residence and soon we get to meet face to face.  i get to hold you and breathe you in! your daddy gets to hold you and give you kisses and snuggles with that fuzzy beard of his. i get to feel you at my breast, to hold you until you sleep, to snuggle and stroke you. oh my lovely boy, i am so excited. it is still surreal to me that you are joining our family. you've already made your mark on my heart, your daddy's heart, your extended family's heart. i know i've said this almost every time i've written, but i just can't express it enough - you are loved by SO many people. so many people have prayed for you and over you, have cried for you and have had rubbed my belly just to get a feel of you before you arrive. you are cherished beyond words and will most likely be smothered with love and affection for years to come. oh my love... just a few weeks until we can finally see each other, instead of you just hearing my voice and me feeling your punches. oh the joy that is filling my heart just thinking about it!

currently, you are laying in a wonky position in my tummy. can you do me a solid and flip into a good position so that we can both have the most natural birth possible. i really want to be able to hold you and bond with you immediately after you come from my body, 10 months is a long time to be patient to meet you and once you're here, it will be incredibly difficult to wait any longer to see, touch, smell, and kiss you. i am going to an acupuncturist tomorrow to see if she can help you find your way to an optimal position for you to come into the world. and then the doctor's are going to try to turn you as well. however, once you turn, i bet you will feel awesome and then we'll be ready to meet! just a little hope that we can get you into a good position. but if for some reason, you REALLY need to stay the way you are, i know that meeting you will be beautiful and your daddy will do whatever he can to hold you and ease your entrance as best he can. he will hold you to his skin, he will sing and hold and comfort you. so no fear at all, no matter what, you are loved and will be cherished and taken care of. i promise.

the countdown is on. i'll see you soon. and until we meet face to face know this - i love you and have always loved you. i will love you all of my years. we have so much to talk about and i pray we never stop talking. i love you, i love you, i love you.

love,
mommy.

my little (big) boy!

hello sweetie.

you are my little big boy! yesterday, i met with my midwife to get a check up on you. your heart is pumping strong, you're moving around a lot, and everything is great! however, they wanted me to get an ultrasound to see how big you are because you're measuring a little big. well - according to the doctor's at the center for maternal and fetal medicine, you're going to be a big baby when you are born! you know what they also said? they said that you were beautiful, that you had a beautiful palate (which means you have great lips!), that you have a lot of hair, and that everything inside looks wonderful. to me, that means you are just right and i don't care how big you are... you're healthy, you're thriving, and you're amazing. at the appointment today, i got to see your face! not just a side view, an actual head on 3D image of your face!
you are quite handsome with a sweet nose and i cannot wait to see you in person. i also love that we could see how you were positioned (granted, you are breech and we need you to flip down here in the next week or so please...) and oh my goodness... it seems like you sleep like me! legs curled up under you and arms up at your face. if you slept like your daddy, then you'd sleep sprawled out on your belly. hehe... oh my buel, i love you so much. i cannot wait to meet you! i'll write again soon, i just wanted to mention how beautiful and awesome you are! i love you.

love,
mommy.

You make my heart smile...

Hello Sweetie!

It's been a bit since I wrote, but rest assured, I think and talk to you on a daily basis in real life! We are currently 29 weeks + 6 days along in your growing process! That means in about 10ish weeks (give or take a couple weeks), we will finally get to meet face to face. Daddy and I cannot wait! While we wait we have lots to do to get ready for your arrival. This weekend we are painting your room and then we will start putting things in their place! Oh your room is going to be amazing and I can't wait for you to see it. So much love is going into it!! But even more so, I cannot wait to see, touch, and kiss your face. Each day you roll around and kick, punch, and wiggle in my tummy and I soak it up. You're the most amazing gift I've ever been given. I don't know what I did to deserve such love - first God gave me your daddy. A man who is smart, funny, logical, interesting, musical, clever, handsome, loving, and simply amazing. And now, he's given me you... And oh the things I could say about you. But I think I'll wait till I meet you so I can give a better explanation of how amazing you are. But oh boy, I cannot wait to see you're wonderful face.

Lately, I had been getting bummed because several moms-to-be had made mention of dreams they have had about their babies growing inside them. Dreams about what they look like and such. I was bummed because most of my dreams are not sweet and exciting like that. And never about you! Well, aside from the dream that you were born with a full set of adult teeth that looked like big cartoon teeth!

Well, today I woke up happy because I dreamt about you in a nice way! We were in a place where I could see you inside my tummy, and you were so close it was as if I could hold you. Sadly, I couldn't because you were still in my tummy. At first you looked a little strange because the picture was not clear. But then things cleared up there you were - tiny with blonde fuzzy hair and blue eyes. Your daddy and I were looking at you with such love and excitement. I remember telling you "hey little man, you need to bake and get some more meat on those little legs, bubs." I guess you were so little and amazing, I was excited but wanted you to keep growing! 

Oh my boy, we are so excited to meet you and see you. But please keep growing and getting bigger. You have time and I'll do my best to be patient and wait for the perfect time for your arrival. We love you, Buel. You are our son and we are already amazed by you. See you soon. 

Love, 

Mommy

I love you. 

my wiggle worm!

hello sweetie!

so lately, you have been moving around A LOT! and its been the most wonderful experience ever. you wiggle and roll over and kick and punch. even your cousin carter felt you today. feeling you move in my tummy is so miraculous to me... the fact that you are growing and moving and becoming even more of a little man... it is so very exciting. your daddy has been gone this month visiting family in california and we will be joining him next week! he has not seen all the hard work of growing we've done, so he should be plenty shocked when he sees how big your mommy's tummy has gotten. he will also love, and be mildly weirded out by, the amount of movement going on. he will soon be bonding with you a lot more! he has missed you a lot. i know i would if i did not have you in my belly, so do me a favor - stay in there and cook until your done and very ready to come out. there is no rush; however, i would love to hold and kiss you RIGHT NOW. and while you're viable and could potentially survive if something happened and you were born early, i'd rather you stay in there where its the perfect temperature and you receive the right food and nourishment and have all the things you need to grow and be strong. so just cook away my son. cook away.

your cousin evan is asking you to come out and play!

i wonder how well you know me... i talk to you every day. every time you move, every time i can feel bits of you in my tummy, every time i think of you (which is very frequently) - i talk to you. i poke at you, i play with you, i ask you questions. i know you don't know what i'm actually saying to you, but i hope you can pick up on how much i love you. how much your daddy loves you. how much your family loves you. your pop-pop and grandma tell you they love you every time they see me. they pat my tummy and get real close just to say "i love you, flipper!" indeed, they are still calling you flipper. sometimes they call you V, because you have inherited your daddy's family name. your cousins carter and evan rub my belly and ask how you're doing every day! your grandma mo and grandpa burt ask about you, as do your uncles and aunts and everyone. and each time, i am thrilled to tell them how active you are and how excited you make me. we love you so much, sweetie... so much.

well... that is all. today we are at 24 weeks + 3 days... that means, theoretically, i get to see you in 16 weeks (give or take). that's just 4ish months! oh i cannot wait, but i will be as patient as possible so that you grow and move and get big and strong until the day you are supposed to be born. i love you so much, buel. you are a delight to my life and your daddy's.

love,
mommy.

buel burton newman v...

hello sweetie,

today i got to meet you... well sort of. it was all via technology, the wonders of computers, and smart people! but today i saw your face, your little body, your hands, your feet... and you are beautifully and wonderfully made. God saw fit to bless me with a beautiful little one in my tummy and i am so blessed by your presence. i know, i know... "mom, you say that all the time." i can't help it. you are beautiful. you are also... my little boy! you are our son and we cannot wait to see your face. i already feel like you probably have daddy's nose! oh my love, you are nothing short of a miracle given by God. Praise Adonai!

you are about 20 weeks, but you could actually be slightly further along - originally they said you're estimated due date was december 8, and while they will continue to go by that, today you are measuring at an estimated due date of december 2. your heart rate was 143. you weigh 14 ounces (which according to the tech is right on track for your age group). your bladder, kidneys, umbilical cord, feet, fingers, and face - all precious. they did so many other scans and measurements... lets see, what else. oh! i am pretty sure you KNEW there was some weird thing moving you around and looking at you today. you sure made the ultrasound tech work hard! my little man, you were wiggling, dancing, flipping over, and doing everything you could to dodge the ultrasound waves. i know, i know... they are probably annoying and you were probably trying to just chill. hehe. but i sure wanted to just stare at you and watch you move and groove. perhaps if mommy and daddy can afford to get the 3D/4D ultrasound done, maybe you will stay still for a little while so i can just get to look at you. its hard having to wait so long to hold you... so i cherish these pictures and the moments of seeing you move around. we love you so much, buel. keep growing, little one. keep swimming. keep up the great work.

okay - you're wiggling right now in mommy's tummy and she is ready to sleep. so here i go. i love you. it was so good to see you today. i cannot wait to see you again!

love,
mommy.