so far so good...

hello baby tadpole,

yes, i realize that i'm calling you a tadpole. i realize that i am insinuating that you are not yet a full-fledged frog. i apologize in advance, but you're going to have a lot of nicknames throughout this pregnancy. while you're in my tummy and until i find out if you're a boy or a girl - you will have nicknames like baby tadpole, baby turtle, baby blueberry, etc. i can't help it.

so far it seems that things are going fine with you in my tummy. the concerns that i was having a few days ago are still there, however, my body is acting normal and not sketchy - so hopefully, that is good news. i get some blood work done tomorrow and sometime next week, we potentially get to see your little body and hear/see your heartbeat! we are so very excited. your auntie joni and auntie neva are so excited to meet you too. i cannot wait for them to spend time with you and love on you. daddy and i pray for you every night. we pray that you will grow big and strong, that you will come into the world when its the right time for you, and that you will just bless this big world that you're coming in to.

i must apologize - i cannot protect you all the time. even now, you're in my tummy and i can only do the best i can, however, there is so much out of my control. i would do anything i could to protect you, i would die for you if i had too. and really - aside from rest, eating enough food, and not going crazy (and the obvious stuff like not drink/smoke/drugs,etc), i cannot do much else to protect you and make sure that you are well. and i am realizing that when you come into the world, i will protect you as much as i can, but the world is big and it is ugly. it is full of disappointment and pain. and until you are old enough to embark on this big world on your own, i will do whatever i can to help you through this life.

however, don't let me scare you. this world, as big and scary as it is, it is also a pretty neat place to live. granted, i have nothing to compare it to, considering i have not lived on any other planet! teehee! as a fellow citizen of the world, we have opportunities and chances to do great things with our lives. we have a God who is incredible and has made us in His image! we are blessed by people who love us, friends who care, and the ability to change the world, no matter how small it may be. so there is a lot to look forward too! i am so excited to show you all that your father and i can show you. we love you so much, sweetie. please keep growing. please be safe. stay put! i love you.

love,
mommy.

written 4.9.13