everything in life that used to get me excited and giddy are so less exciting to me these days. christmas did not feel the same this year - but perhaps next year it will. new years is never exciting in our household. and my birthday was a bust (mostly because daddy and i were both sick!). i'm not bummed about the change in my heart over these things because i know why they felt so different. and i know that next year they will feel different and each year it will change again. it's all because of you. you remarkable young lad! why, you ask? well - it's because the most exciting thing that daddy and i were waiting for has arrived. you! you were our precious christmas gift, you were our anticipation and you were what we were wishing and hoping for. and you're here. so the excitement of gifts and fun times with friends and family is amazing and we loved every minute of it - but, to me at least, it all does not hold a candle to the joy and excitement that is you being in our lives. you are the gift that keeps on giving because each day is new.
i won't lie. some days feel completely mundane because we're doing the same thing over and over. wake, nurse, diaper change, sleep, coo, sleep, nurse, change diaper, sleep. and so on and so forth. but each day i am able to learn a little more about you and you are learning things each day too. for example - on december 15th - you found your hand and were staring at it a lot. and on december 28th - you gave me your first smile! like a real smile, not just a gas bubble. [side note: when you get married and have a baby, the first smiles are most likely gas... you'll know the difference between gassy smiles and real smiles. and those real smiles make the sleepless nights and the moments of frantic crazies all worth it. i promise.] so each day, you are learning and growing and showing us new things. on my birthday you started sticking your tongue out a lot and making spit bubbles. ;-P yes, i know - you probably think i'm a nut job to think these things are more exciting than christmas or my birthday. maybe i am. but they are. they are exciting because i get to see a little more of your unique personality. i get to know you better each day and that is so exciting.
on december 6, you got to meet your grandma mo! she was so excited to meet you that she flew all the way from california to be here and see you. she was here for a few days. while she was here you got baptized. we'll talk about that on the next letter. she spoiled you rotten with hugs and kisses and holding you! she loves you SO much and you love her. you spent lots of time just laying on her chest while she sang to you, rocked you, and loved on you. it was a very special time and i'm so glad that you and her got that time together. we hope to go visit in june and unless she comes to visit before then, you'll see her again then. and this time you may be able to remember her! hopefully once you start watching things a bit more, we'll do some skype sessions so you get to know her and grandpa burt's faces and voices. then you'll know who is hugging and kissing you when we visit! but oh, grandma mo loves you so much. you're her little peanut.before this gets too long, i thought i'd tell you that some of my favorite times with you are when we're sitting in your bedroom on the spare mattress. we just hang out after you've been fed and changed. right now, you're not even 2 months old so you still sleep quite a bit. but when you're awake, i love to sit and listen to music with you. these are the four songs we listen too on a regular basis... one of them is a "love song", and isn't meant to be sung by a mommy to her son, but to me - i think of you when i sing along.
"baby mine" - alison krauss. this was the song that i sang to you while you were in my tummy and will sing to you until you tell me to stop. it holds a very special place in my heart and when i sing it to you i weep with love and joy.
"sweet baby james" by james taylor. your grandma mo used to sing this to your daddy, uncle, and auntie. so i thought i would carry on the tradition since she doesn't get the chance to hold you and sing to you every night. she even sang it to you while she was here!
"make you feel my love" - adele. this is the love song that really isn't for mommy to baby; however, most of the song, minus the middle part, are things i think about with you. so it works just fine for me. :) because i will always do what i can to make you feel my love.
okay - i'm done for now. i love you so much. next time i write, i'll talk to you about your baptism, why we did it, how important it was, and what it means.
love,
mommy.
