hello babies. i am thinking of you and loving you. my arms feel so empty without you, my heart feels so little without the joy that your cry, your touch, your love, your laughter, your smell will bring to it. i cannot wait to meet you. i cannot wait to hold you. i cannot wait to show you the world and let you know that its not as scary as it may seem. today i couldn't help myself - i was wondering what you'll look like. what color eyes you'll have. how much trouble are you going to give me when your stubborn side comes out. will you have my curly hair, your dad's big lips, my little hands? how long will you call me mommy until you decide to shorten it to just 'mom'. my days are sometimes daydreams about the days we'll get to spend together. your old mom here is just having a rough day being patient. she's having a hard time. its been a while since one of these hard days have come. and don't think for a moment that its been a while since i thought of you - i think of you daily. its just been a while since i cried out of frustration. i know you'll come when you're supposed too. i know you'll be conceived at the perfect moment. i know that God is in control. don't worry - your mom is not always an emotional wreck, she usually keeps things together quite nicely. and i'll do my best once you get here.
well... i've rambled on and on. today - i made cookies with your cousin carter. blueberry oatmeal! they were delicious. i also watched part of finding nemo. its a movie that is super cute and fun. other than that, i visited your daddy at work and had dinner with him. then came home and relaxed. i'm tired now though so i should get to bed. i love you and i'm thinking of you. i hold you in my heart until the day comes where i can hold you in both my heart and my arms. i love you.
love,
mommy
